Thursday, June 07, 2007

More Homeschool Humor

This is not my creation--I'm too busy surfing the net to come up with my own answers. :) Enjoy these answers:

Do your parents make you homeschool?
*Yes, they do. In my heart of hearts, I really *want* to spend 6 hours a day in a stuffy classroom filled with stupid people, listening to a rude and irrational teacher rant incessantly.

Do you have any friends?
*No, I'm a misanthrope sociopath who would rather die a thousand deaths than be socialized normally.

How do you meet people?
*I have found that painting myself blue and running through the streets screaming is a very effective way to meet people.

Do you get graded?
*Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.

How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you?
*I visit the library and pick books at random. Those books then become my curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied alternative physics, macrame, tomato growing, and plot flaws in Star Trek the Next Generation episodes.

How do you remember to work without a teacher nagging you?
*I bribe myself. Whenever I finish a homework assignment, I give myself a gold star or a cookie.

Is homeschooling legal?
*No. In fact, you could even be arrested for aiding and abetting a criminal just by talking to me!
Or .......

*Yes. The government wants as many of us smartaleck, self motivating brats out of their high schools as possible.

Do you like homeschooling?
*Not particularly. I tolerate homeschooling only because the alternative is so horrendous.

Are you going to homeschool your kids?
*Certainly! In fact, my children will undergo an accelerated education, so that they are ready for college classes by the age of 10.

You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh?
*Actually, my intelligence level is below normal. I have simply acquired an immense vocabulary through memorization, which often fools humans into believing that I am more intelligent than I actually am.

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